QUICKVIEW: Ralph's Bull & Claw - +++

Ralp's Bull & Claw is your standard sort of local haunt with a massive menu. It's very Rhode Island, very local, and very good.

The location isn't the best place, but it's not bad, either. Ralph's is situated along Charles Street in North Providence, right along the Pawtucket line. It's north enough to not be in the increasingly bad areas farther south, but not north enough to be part of the more expensive locations into Lincoln. The atmosphere and clientele is precisely what one would expect from the location: a sitcom cliche. I was sat next to a group of people that seemed like family members from the movie Moonstruck.

The interior is nice enough. Standard family restaurant designs. The building is much larger than the small frontage indicates. There's lots of natural light. Essentially, nothing about which I could complain.

Service was a bit slow since they were busy for reasons that I will explain. Our waiter was friendly, attentive, and at ease in her job.

The food was very good. Frequently, local haunts have a tendency to serve bland food. I think that it's just a side effect of running a business that isn't interested in delivering gourmet experimentation, and is instead focused on delivering good food to people that simply want good food.

And that's the important thing. Everything was good. The dinner bread is one of the best presentations that I've ever seen: two, big boules of Italian bread, freshly baked. No pretensiousness. No nothing. Just good bread with butter on the side. They say, and by they I mean Janeane Garofalo's character from the film Ratatouille, that you can tell good bread by its sound. Well this bread sounded great. Many gourmet restaurants would do well to take a page from this no-nonsense approach. Don't give me weird breads filled with nuts and currants. Or some strange, house-made sourdough. Just give me bread, baked, with butter.

The soup was loaded with vegetables and pasta, and had good punch to it. Not in the slightest bit bland. The baked stuffed sole was super-sweet and a table favorite, but it was a bit overwhelmed by its butter sauce. I would have liked a much lighter drizzle. The seafood casserole was well-balanced, without being swamped in stuffing, cheese, or sauce as many places do. And the gorgonzola sauce on top of a steak was mellow and not too pungent.

There were a few things to pick on. The steak wasn't the best cut, but it was still good, flavorful, and well-prepared. The vegetable wasn't much of one, simply being some steamed kale and olives next to mashed potatoes. But these things, insofar as being negative, aren't much worthy of note. Especially when you consider their ace in the hole: half-price Sundays.

Every second and last Sunday of the month, everything on the menu, and I mean everything, is half priced. A $30 steak drops to $15. My baked stuffed sole was only $9. Gorgonzola steak: $11. When you think about the mark-up generally required to keep a restaurant churning, they're probably reducing their price down to around, or maybe even below, the break-even point, so it's a good attention-getter for them, while costing only a little.

Now you understand why service was a bit slow. The dining room wasn't swamped, but I'm sure that they handle waves of people coming in throughout the day, which does much to diminish pre-prepared supplies.

This promotion makes Ralph's perhaps the single best deal in all of Rhode Island. I don't consider that an exaggeration. I can't think of any other restaurants with prices like this for a menu like this. Good for great prices is, in my mind, better than great food for good prices.

With a menu for everyone, the best deal in Rhode Island, a friendly personality, and good service, Ralph's is the kind of place that I would default to when I don't know what else to get. There are few restaurants that I would describe as an excellent place to bring the family, but Ralph's is one of them. Now all I have to do is find a family.

Ralph's Bull & Claw: +++

1027 Charles Street
North Providence, RI 02904
401-722-2624


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QUICKVIEW: LJ'S Barbeque- +++/$$

Barbeque: the only truly American form of cooking.

I'm not joking. Barbeque is the only form of cooking unique to the New World. It's believed to have originated in the Carribean islands and then migrated out onto the mainland, and eventually into the culture of European explorers and, ultimately, people in Rhode Island.

And speaking of Rhode Island, we have a surprisingly robust selection of BBQ considering our distance from the food's genesis. Along with the subject of this article, we have Wes's Rib House, Smokey Bones, Rick's Roadhouse, Ribs & Company, and the various bbq-ish options at the various chain restaurants in various towns.

I had previously been completely satisfied going to Smokey Bones whenever the urge for ribs and pulled pork struck me, but after its recent purchase and transformation into a "fire grille," the mind-numbingly overt sexism has soured me to the place. Women are used exclusively as decoration and they all but declare that men are beer-swilling, sports and sex-obsessed, humanoid buffalo.

Oh yes. I love being made to feel like a cro-magnon when eating my ribs.

Smokey Bones' homepage currently features a "hot babe" serving beer. If you click on their "About Us" section, you have another hot babe serving beer. Look!

The Smokey Bones Home Page. Yes. Please. Take a look around at all of our beer and breasts.

The About Us page that says everything about them that matters.

Let's break down and analyze their About Us page.

At Smokey Bones, we specialize in three things: good food, good drinks and good times.

That's it? As a restaurant, you should specialize in a few more things than just that. Like organization and operation, cleaning, refrigeration, and other such important things for running a place that serves food like knowing how to use a goddamned Oxford comma. And also, what is this? Cheers?

We are a bar and fire grill, but not necessarily in that order.

Oh good! I was worried for a moment. This "fire grille" garbage has been positively shoe-horned into everything they make, as though the marketing guys think that by taking a stupid idea and simply making it omnipresent somehow negates its stupidity.

We are grill masters who respect the power of the open flame. We like simple, yet flavorful recipes and believe marinating is not to be taken lightly. We know medium-rare isn’t the only way to cook a steak, but believe it should be.

This is completely acceptable marketing speak.

We believe pork should be slow smoked and pulled often.

I think this may be a masturbation reference.

Slow, as in 11 hours over hickory logs every night, and often, as in every day at every restaurant.

This is an excellent sentence. It makes me want to visit the restaurant.

We know it’s our bartenders that make our drinks great, not the liquor. Although the liquor doesn’t hurt. We think beer should be ice cold and consumed regularly.

Because obviously, the more attractive the woman, the better the beer from the tap. And doesn't Smokey Bones think that encouraging alcoholism is a bad idea?

We know our servers bring much more than food to the table.

Indeed. They also bring boobs. I'm not kidding. I cannot think of a single restaurant where a greater percentage of the servers are female aside from Hooters.

We are big fans of sports, loud music and surprises.

Why in the bloody blue fuck would I want surprises at a restaurant? I want food as expected. If I order a burger, and get a bowl of fruit, I'll damn well be surprised. I'll also be angry.

And we believe in laughing often, especially at ourselves.

This is good, because you are laughable.

You can understand why the atmosphere has become intolerable over time.

So it was with great relief that I found LJ's to have the air of a local joint, populated by locals from the surrounding neighborhoods, without any insultingly stupid marketing statement defining the restaurant's character. Do you know what's on LJ's website? Pictures of food. How novel.

The interior is simple. The place settings are utilitarian, with whole rolls of rough paper towels at every table. They provide squeeze bottles with house-made BBQ sauce, and a wider variety of hot sauces than is likely necessary. The closest thing that I can think of as a competitor is The Oak Hill Tavern in South County.

The wait staff was friendly and decently fast. The menu is very large and priced well. They offer a prix fixe option for $20 that includes an appetizer, two sides, corn bread, dessert, and a beer. Platters are usually in the $10-$20 range and offer an enormous amount of food for little money. Even if the food was merely adequate, LJ's would be a good deal.

And the food is much more than adequate. This is the real deal. This is not the crap "BBQ" that you get at places like Chile's. Their babyback ribs were just fatty enough and just firm enough to provide some satisfaction in biting while still falling off the bone. Their spice rub is muted and austere, perhaps a bit too, but when combined with a light drizzle of their sweet house cause becomes an excellent representation of the meal. Their pulled pork is on the fatty side, but is soft and flavorful as a result. And holy crap, do they give you a lot of pulled pork. Two mounds of it took up over half of the plate. You will consume a significant percentage of a pig with this meal. And again, all of these choices come with two sides and cornbread for the price.

Their platters represent a small portion of the menu, though. They have sandwiches, burgers, grilled pizza, and soups/salads. Their burgers were a good representation of the difference between this place and other restaurants and the subtle value that is available. At Smokey Bones, they have long since ditched providing a side with their burgers. They still aren't a bad deal, mind you, but this is what I mean when I talk about the fundamental difference between a local restaurant and a chain. At Smokey Bones, with dozens of locations, not including a side dish with their burgers could result in hundreds of thousands of dollars in extra annual revenue. At LJ's, it may equal a couple hundred. There is little motivation to skimp, and thus they don't. For the same price, at LJ's, you get a side. To me, that matters.

And about those sides, their french fries were surprisingly good. Crispy and light and tasting like they were made from fresh potatoes, which I'm assuming they were. Their house beans were a little thin — I like my baked beans thick with bacon, beans, and fillings — but sweet and good. Their candied yams were candied and yammy. Basically, all good on the Western front.

Everything we had was good. The atmosphere was good. The service was good. The food was everything I could have hoped for, and even a bit more. And that is what LJ's is about: the food. It's not about sports, or idiotic slogans, or puns, or packaging. It's about food, made with skill, and served up for a fair price. I will be returning to LJ's soon, with slow-cooked pig on my mind.

LJ's Barbeque: +++

727 East Avenue
Pawtucket, RI 02860
401-305-5255
Delivery: 401-353-4121


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QUICKVIEW: The Duck & Bunny- +++ / $$

Perfectly steamed milk.

I've been meaning to try Duck & Bunny for some time, for no other reason that it's called a "snuggery." I thought that it was a made-up word, but no, sure enough it is actually a word.

Unfortunately, the connotations of the word did in fact evince truthfully the Duck & Bunny. This place is nauseatingly twee. They have variations on famous paintings littering the dining areas -which are, as they say, snug- all of which have been altered to include images of ducks or rabbits. I think that I would have found it more appealing if the dining area had not been packed and loud. The place is snug, to be sure, but cozy, at least to me, implies soft.

A steak sandwich in a crepe. Delicious.

The D&B is anything but soft. The dining areas are old rooms with hard wood flooring. Each room is an echo chamber with its own unique acoustics. They really need some carpets. We arrived at 7:20pm on a Thursday to a packed house. Quite a few people behind us simply aborted their mission of dinner. We were lucky, apparently, and were seated quickly.

Service was friendly, but they were seeming to have a hard time dealing with the full house and cramped quarters. Service never failed, but they seemed to be making it up as they went along, arranging patrons on the fly in the "snug" rooms. Once seated, our waiter was attentive and quick and delivered the nightly list of cupcakes.

Oh, right, the cupcakes. If the name, classification, "irreverent" rules, and custom paintings didn't earn this place the hipster stamp of approval, the cupcake menu certainly would. It's amazing how quickly macarons were replaced with cupcakes as the hip baked good du jour, but that's beside the point.

The Angelina.

Speed of delivery was good. Considering that the wait for crepes at La Crêperie can be interminable, we waited for only about five minutes before drinks, cakes, and crepes were on the table. The atmosphere aside, we were all very happy with the food.

The T.S. Geller, essentially a roast beef sandwich in crêpe, was perfectly prepared with fresh mesculun and pungent, delicious, house-made horseradish sauce.

The Sweet Baby James.

Sweets included The Angelina, a blueberry blini with Des Nuages cheese, raspberry chocolate, lemon zest, but they were all out of the raspberry chocolate, so instead it was strawberries and chocolate sauce. The Sweet Baby James was a rocking strawberry & sweet vanilla mascarpone blintz. These were, as with other things on the menu, relatively standard things prepared perfectly.

My only criticism of the night is the cupcake being covered in a massive dollop of frosting. It was delicious, obviously house-made, chocolate cream frosting and a true delight to eat, but as with so many places, the cupcake bordered on frosting-delivery mechanism. I like my cupcakes lightly frosted. Yes, yes. I can scrape it off, which I did, but it shouldn't be up to me to "correct" my food. I recognize that I might be a minority in this, so if you like frosting, as I'm sure many of you do, ignore me. Oh, and the cupcake was fantastic.

So much damned frosting.

Prices are a bit on the high side, considering what you get. They are not insane, mind you, but this place is not cheap. Their standard crêpes sport $10 price tags, with their more complex, entree-like offerings going as high as $15. I loved their T.S. Geller, $12, but a roast beef sandwich of similar size and quality with horseradish sauce can be had at many neighborhood sandwich shops and delis for $7 or less. Again, not high enough to keep me away, but high enough to not quite line up with the twee/hip personality that they are trying to project.

The whole evening was made difficult by the acoustics and the cramped dining area. The photos on their website do not at all communicate the incredibly limited space in which they are operating. I think that the insufferably hip elements of the restaurant would not have grated on me, and some of them I would have found legitimately appealing, if not for the noise. I plan on going back during a time when the crowds will be less intense so I can enjoy the environment, because the food was certainly enough to lure me back.

The Duck & Bunny: +++
Price Range: $$

http://www.theduckandbunny.com/

312 Wickenden Street
Providence, RI 02903
(401) 270-3300


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QUICKVIEW: Church- +++ / $$

I don't like Boston. It's a nightmare to navigate, everything costs a fortune, and parking is insane on every day of the week. At least in Providence, weekends provide some degree of reprieve, and in the summers, the city is damned near empty. Boston has none of these advantages. So it was with great distaste that I traveled to Beantown for a photography show in which my sister was participating. Both girlfriend and parents were in attendance, and we planned dinner after the show, before the driver arrived to pick us up.

First off, Boston is actually quite nice when one is walking. Granted, I was in a state of ninja-like heightened awareness the entire time since I assumed that every person we passed was, in fact, a mugger. But other than my urine-soaked underpants, the day went off well. A high point was Dinner, which didn't fulfill any of my fears about inner city life. My sister's apartment was less than a five minute walk from an entire street of restaurants, driving home how great it is to be able to walk to everything, and one that stood out was Church.

It's website was urban and hip, menu was good, and prices were amazingly reasonable. The bar selection was excellent for such a small bar, and the wine list was commendable if unremarkable. The interior was, again, hip and modern. It was romantically lit, but not too bad. Unlike other "romantic" restaurants, you could actually see your food. I liked the modern style, deep reds and browns, and candles littering the walls. If I have a criticism of the interior design, it's semantic. Why is this place called Church when there isn't even the slightest homage to a church in the place? At least nail someone to the wall.

Service was excellent. Attentive, but not too. Polite, fast, and trained in all of the professional flourishes that evince a highly polished management team. The selection is primarily comfort food with an acceptable amount of innovation. What really stands out, though, is how affordable everything is. Only two items break the $20 barrier, with most in the mid-teens. It seems that much of the menu is meant as an accompaniment to drinks, providing nibbles in between attempts at getting laid. The music venue attached to the restaurant supports this assumption.

The margherita flatbread was good and fairly priced at $5. The bread itself was soft and chewy on the inside, with good texture, but was good and crispy on the outside. The sauce was a very simple and extremely flavorful tomato sauce. I like my sauce with more complexity, but I can't fault the quality. Mozarella was fresh and mild, and the basil had acceptable kick.

Entrees included the macaroni and cheese, which was... macaroni and cheese. The cheese was rich, and it certainly wasn't the bland, creamy, mouth-filling "blah" that many mac-&-cheeses are, and the churizo added acceptable bite, so thumbs up. The artisan pasta was disappointing. It was expensive for a small serving and didn't stand alone as an entree. The pasta was perfectly cooked, and the large dollop of delicious goat cheese on top was well-placed, but that was it. Spinach, cheese, and some noodles for $16? That's rough. The steak sandwich, on the other hand, was a good deal for $12 with flavorful-yet-tender meat and being well-prepared. Steak tips were a mixed bag. The tips themselves were tender enough but not very flavorful, and they would have been well-served by a spicy sauce alongside them. This disappointment was eased by the excellent Parmesan and truffle french fries and perfectly prepared asparagus which were served beside the tips. The Buttermilk fried chicken and waffle was a great take on some rich comfort food. It was a small serving but still well-priced at $8. It would make a great appetizer for two people.


The size of the menu and the fact that some of their items are homeruns (appropriate considering their proximity to Fenway) outweighs some of their stumbles. I suspect that if I lived in Boston, I would find myself at Church regularly. It's affordable, with good food, and a very enjoyable dining area. Moreover, as I mentioned, it's one part of a duo with its counterpart being a music venue that looks suitably like a wanna-be, but not quite as dirty, CBGB.

As the Church website so subtly puts it, they provide "music. food. booze." I guess it's best to be direct about these things. So if that three word mission statement sounds good to you, give Church a shot. I'm sure that you'll be satisfied.

Church: +++

69 Kilmarnock Street
Boston, MA 02215-4821
(617) 236-7600
http://www.churchofboston.com/


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Hours
Monday through Friday 5:00pm to 12:00am
Saturday & Sunday 11:00am to 12:00am
Club
Every day 5:00pm to 2:00am

QUICKVIEW: Fairlawn Cafe - +++/$$

I'm a huge fan of breakfast. Breakfast is the only meal of the day where you can eat almost anything and call it fair. Just think about. French toast loaded with sweet cream cheese. That's not a freaking meal, that's a dessert that you're masquerading as a meal. But at the same time, it's equally reasonable to eat a 12oz porterhouse, which is also not a meal; it's three meals.

So, yeah. I go out to breakfast a lot and love making it. It is in this breakfast-loving mindset that I happily present to you the Fairlawn Cafe. It's a small, nondescript shop in a proto-stripmall in suburban Lincoln. The outside is easy to miss, but you can easily spot it on weekends by the huge crowd of cars vying for the small number of parking spaces.


The inside is dense and quirkily... quir... quirkishly... uniquely appointed. It reminds me of Julian's on Broadway, just without the tattoos, Cloves, and pretentiousness. There are very few spaces to sit and the tables are small, but they make use of what sidewalk they have to wedge in a few more tables during the summer.

Service was a bit slow but very friendly and attentive. They have a large number of aesthetic flourishes that combine to form a sense of distinction, for example, you receive chilled water in a capped bottle, and orange juice is brought out in a wine glass with an orange twist. Very simple stuff, but it's nice to see a cafe adding a little flare to otherwise pedestrian tasks.


The menu is enormous. The kitchen is apparently dedicated to the proposition that all ingredients are created equal, and can be combined in any way imaginable... and put on the menu somewhere. A whole page for various french toasts. A whole page for eggs Benedict. A whole page for omelettes. And multiple pages for sandwiches and other breakfast foodstuffs. The menu alone would have been impressive, but they also have multiple signs both inside and out displaying specials and more menu. Smoothies, salads, sandwiches, you get the picture. If you even remotely like brunch food, you'll find something here that you like.

And about that food, it's delightful. High-quality ingredients combined with inventive breakfast ideas like the tiramisu french toast. It had coffee-flavored sweet cream cheese. Very good and sporting an excellent price. My friends followed my french toast lead, because, duh, french toast is, like, totally the best food ever. For example, french toast is good, french toast with pan-seared apples, cranberries, brie, and walnuts is even better. Their standard breakfast offerings are exactly as you would expect, but prepared well. Eggs, toast, and very soft but spicy home fries. I like my home fries super-crispy; these were more like broiled potatoes, but the tasty seasonings made them enjoyably different. They serve dinner and lunch-type stuff, which I have yet to sample, but I have no reason to espect anything other than good to very good.

So after a single trip, Cafe @ Fairlawn (or Fairlawn Cafe, I'm not sure which, really) is one of my favorite breakfast places. It's right up there with T's. And if you live nearby, they deliver! That eliminates any reason whatsoever to not give them a shot. A great selection of excellent food and good prices, including a few recipes that I've seen nowhere else, really makes this a winner.

For those interested, Fairlawn Cafe has very little presence on the web, so I've uploaded a number of their menu pages to my Picasa gallery.

UPDATE: Here are some more photos of their available french toasts and crepes.



Fairlawn Cafe: +++
Price range: Entrees- $5-$10

893 Smithfield Avenue
Lincoln, RI 02865-3534
(401) 365-1385


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Hours
Monday & Saturday 7:00am to 2:00pm
Tuesday through Thursday 7:00am to 4:00pm
Friday 7:00 am to 7:00pm (serving dinner)
Sunday 7:00am to 1:00pm

QUICKVIEW: Providence Prime- +++ / $$$$

Having eaten at P-Prime on a few occasions, I was surprised to find it completely changed on my most recent visit. Granted, I hadn't been in nearly two years, but still, it was traumatizing.

The new layout is about six months old and does away with the space-consuming booths and replaces them with a large bench that runs the length of the dining area's eastern wall. The boooooOOOOOOOooooth closest to the window has been replaced with a cured meats counter that includes appetizers and bar foods that are fifty(!) percent off, 5-7pm daily. You have to sit at the bar for the bar foods, but still, great deal for those getting off of work, which is undoubtedly their intention.

The dining area is still very nice. Very well lit, with decent table dress. I love the wood tones and leather. It makes it very... metro/masculine, if that's possible. Service is friendly and knowledgeable about the meats. They still have a presentation of meats available for the discerning tongue.

The wine list is good and decently-priced. Not a drop of Opus One in sight, finally. They have a new Prix Fixe menu up for offer which, for $30, is a good deal. Not mind-blowing, but good. The salumi menu of cured meats is an interesting addition, and will likely dig into it on some later visit. The appetizer of warm artichoke and spinach fondue ($9.95) wasn't. By wasn't, I mean it wasn't a fondue. It was a dip. And a pricey one at that. It was good, and the spinach and artichokes went well, as they would be expected to, but the toasted flat bread was too soft. It was heated on a grill just long enough to get some sear marks on it. This added a nice, smokey grill flavor and smell, but they were too soft to add some contrast in texture. If they had just called it what it was, I think I would not have been as disappointed, but I expected fondue, not dip.

The entree of Steak and Crab ($33) was as I would expect from my previous visits; It's some of the best steak in Providence. Considering it was a filet, it was incredibly flavorful. The crab was perfectly-cooked, with just the right amount of salt. I got some bernaise sauce for the steak which was a relatively thin and very mild sauce. I generally like my bernaise to punch me in the face a bit with tarragon, but it was still well-prepared. If you like mild bernaise, you'll love it.

For a side, we were all about the sweet potato & pancetta hash ($5.50). The sweet potato was a bit crispy and still very firm. With oh-so-sweet caramelized sugars covering each delicious bit. The pancetta added a nice, salty undertone, and it went very well with the savory flavors of the steak, crab, and sauce.

After all that food, dessert wasn't much of an option, so we passed. I was as happy with Prime as I expected to be. The fondue was a letdown, but everything else more than measured up. I've been before, I went this time, and I will certainly be back. Providence Prime is my favorite steak house.

Providence Prime: +++
Price range: Appetizers- $4-$14 Entrees- $15-$41

http://www.providenceoysterbar.com/providenceprime/primewelcome.htm


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Hours
Monday through Thursday 5:00pm to 10:00pm Bar open to 1:00am
Friday & Saturday 5:00pm to 11:00pm Bar open to 2:00am

It's Harvest Season! Bring Out the Pipes! (Part 3: Bonus QUICKVIEW!)

QUICKVIEW: Gypsy Cafe- +++ / $$

Lincoln is the proud home of one of New Hampshire's very best restaurants. The Gypsy Cafe is an amazingly inventive, well-sorted, fabulously executed little restaurant in the middle of freaking nowhere.

The inside is well-appointed, a vibrant color scheme of reds, blues, and black & white checker patterned floor, and various little knick-knacks dominate the dining area. Combined with lots of twinkling point lights and one of the best signs I've seen in a long time, it's a winning look. There's a large bar with beers on top, and a variety of drinks with an emphasis on exotic vodka. The dining area is pretty small, and if you're up there for the highland games, the biggest event of the year for little Lincoln, you might have to wait awhile.

The service is excellent and friendly. Me and my partner had long conversations with the staff on both visits. Dishes were accurately recommended, delivery was quick, and the details of the night were sufficiently transparent. Table dress was good. The brushed metal salt & pepper shakers were very post-modern and looked nice in comparison to the de rigueur glass shakers with dented metal tops.

For an appetizer, we had lobster risotto cake ($8.99) and shrimp wrap ($10.99). Both were inventive enough and to impress us. The risotto cake was spicy with good, firm risotto. In effect, it was a giant crab cake with lobster in place of crab. The creaminess of the risotto needed a bit more crunchy greens on the side, but that was the only real criticism. It was a great deal at only nine bucks.

The shrimp wrap was a great take on a shrimp appetizer, which usually takes the form of coconut shrimp. The won-ton wrappers were fried to a golden crisp and brought fabulous crunch to the texture of the shrimp inside. It was a thoroughly satisfying mouth feel that was superior to the omnipresent coconut shrimp, if not also in flavor.

Entrees came out, we got one of the specials, the El Paso Tenderloin Pasta ($18.99), and the Cashew Long Bean Stir Fry ($16.99). Talk about impressive. The tenderloin was tender and very flavorful for the cut. The chile rub and grille of the meat resulted in a powerful, spicy smokiness that combined fabulously with the creamy chipotle cream sauce. The pasta was perfectly al dente, and the asparagus still had some good snap to it. The serving was gargantuan and was an excellent deal for only nineteen dollars.

The stir fry was a similarly shocking revelation. Unlike a lot of places that mix it up for impressiveness' sake, and use fusion as more of a marketing tool, like I think Cafe Nuovo is guilty of sometimes, Gypsy Cafe balances different cuisines to universal success. The stir fry was sweet and spicy, as you'd expect, but there was also a dash of cayenne pepper all about the edges of the dish, and this was integrated into the whole of the dish as well. That same smokey undertone was present all throughout the food. I think that it was a detail taken from southwestern, Tex-Mex cuisine used to great effect and the kind of stuff that I wish would be more prevalent in "fusion" cuisine. It was primarily a stir fry, with just a dash of Texas thrown in for good measure.

The Gypsy just kept impressing, finishing up the evening with a great dessert menu. It's not the most mind-blowing assortment, but today, anything beyond "chocolate cake" and "tiramisu" is a fucking blessing. The pumpkin crisp was well-made comfort food, and the blackberry mousse pie was suitably decadent. But the rest of the selection provided me with a rare treat: multiple choices. So rarely do many things on a dessert menu sound good. But the chocolate torte with ice cream sounded good. As did the chocolate trifle with pecans, amaretto, and Heath bar.

The Gypsy Cafe would be a great restaurant with great prices just about anywhere, but nestled up in the mountains of New Hampshire, in a skiing town catering almost exclusively to tourists makes it nothing short of a miracle. If you're nearby, you positively must try.

Gypsy Cafe- +++

http://www.menubrowser.com/pages/gypsy.html


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117 Main St
Lincoln, NH 03251
603-745-4395 (Reservations accepted)

Hours
Lunch
Wednesday through Sunday 11:30am to 4:00pm
Dinner
Friday & Saturday 5:00pm to 9:30pm
Wednesday, Thursday, & Sunday 5:00pm to 9:00pm

Adventures in Connecticut.

I had a family "function" to go to in Connecticut, so I figured on my way home, which was still early-afternoon, I'd make a stop by some local cafes. Connecticut is much bigger than Rhode Island, and they have some pretty large cities. I felt for sure that I'd find some good coffee.

I traveled down Rt.95 in Google Earth and looked at the various cafes that popped up. Ninety percent of which were Dunkin' Donuts locations. Ugh. And I landed on two, Cafe Lulu and Cafe Atlantique. Both seemed nice. Atlantique was like Atlantic, but better, and Lulu had a nicer website. I tossed a coin. Atlantique it is!

Damn. I had high hopes. The outside and inside were all nice. Lots of seating. Free WiFi (along with an older-than-shit computer on which they were trying to sell internet access). Good menu with good sandwiches. But holy crap the espresso was bad. I had grounds in my espresso. Grounds! Where did they come from? It was burtn beyond words. The delicate taste of liquid charcoal bathed my taste buds. I'm sure that if I had just drank poison, I'd have been fine. The menu and location were good, but with espresso that bad, it kind of defeats the purpose of a cafe. Still, a menu of crepes, panini, and other light foods means that this would be a damn fine place for a bite.

But my visit was not a waste! Right across the street was a place called the Ice Shack... or Ice House. Something. I can't remember. It doesn't matter. They had frozen. Soft serve. Ice. CUSTARD! Ohhhhh it was good. It's hard to find ice custard but it's so, so worth it. Rich and creamy. Powerfully flavorful in ways ice cream just can't be. Decadent is a good word. Unbelievably unhealthy, I'm sure, but I could not possibly care less. It's good and this was very good custard. It's unfortunate. The last place I knew of in Rhode Island serving good ice custard was Rita's Ice Custard Happiness, on Mineral Spring Avenue in Johnston. Apparently, the Japanese-sounding name did little to help their business and they went under some time ago.

So yeah. I'll have to try Lulu soon. They apparently roast their own coffee.

Ice Shack/Ice House/Ice Hut/Ice Temple/Ice Ziggurat: +++
Cafe Atlantique: ++


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QUICKVIEW: Tortilla Flats- ++ / $$

Tortilla Flats, as this Projo article covers, is under new management. A Providence standby for over three decades, the place had apparently been slowly but surely falling into unimportance. A haunt for locals and Chinese Brown students who have never seen a taco in their lives. It's nice to see a storied restaurant rise again instead of fading away (a la The Red Rooster), and while I commend the effort to return T-Flats to some level of local significance, they're not quite there, yet. That's not to say there isn't something of value there, but maybe not as much as the owners hope.

The Design:

The exterior of the restaurant is marked by a large, instantly-identifiable sign of a rather-depressed looking man (Apparently a drawing of John Steinbeck), smoking a cigarette. It's unique, and certainly achieved its goal of making me curious about the business. Other than that, it's pretty nondescript. The inside is quaint and has acceptable amounts of charm. Old wood, and a generally aged appearance inside are all pleasant. Three large windows, one on Hope Street and two on Olney, provide some much-needed light into an otherwise dark interior.

The booths in which we were seated were an orthopedic nightmare. We had to sit bolt upright, and the hard wood, lacking any contours, put our butts to sleep. I liked the aged feeling of the booth and table, and the small seats gave it a cozy feeling, but it didn't overcome how uncomfortable it all was. There are other seats available, with chairs and other such elite constructions, and I recommend asking for those unless the size of your party prevents it.

The Food:

Out first were a duo of appetizers. The coconut shrimp ($9.95) were well-made. The shrimp were very large, tender, flavorful, and the coconut crust was crispy, sweet, and well-done. A pretty good price for seven, large shrimp, as well. The amaretto dipping sauce was very sweet and a good compliment. The chili con queso ($6.95) was also a pleasant surprise. It had a lot of kick to it, and a fiery, oily consistency to it, had a pile of chopped jalapenos on top, and was served in a giant, friend tortilla bowl. It was an inventive take; spicy, cheesy, and paired well with some decently thick tortilla chips. It was the highlight of the night.

The entrees were disappointing. A traditional combo with a taco and burrito ($7.99) tasted like it was made from a kit. The corn tortilla was alright, but the filling was only a couple notches above Taco Bell. It was bland, the ground beef had no weight to it and very few spices. The vegetables were fresh and crisp, but couldn't counter the underwhelming blandness of the ground beef. Similar story with the burrito. The rice was ever worse. It tasted like it was made from a microwave-and-eat readymade packet from Stop & Shop. The rice was heavy and starchy, and bland, bland, bland. The refried beans were beans, but they were a bit watery.

The El Dorado chicken ($12.99) was better. The chicken was tender and well-cooked. A good piece with little fat. The lime flavor was pretty subdued when I would have liked it dancing all over. The pile of cheddar-jack cheese on top was good, but I would have liked a little kick, or maybe some queso blanco sprinkled on top. Something to mix it up a bit. The again sub-standard rice didn't help. Something to add some textural contrast would have been much appreciated. As it stands, it was good but totally standard fare. Good, but I could get this stuff anywhere, including the tex-mex menu down at TGI Fridays.

Conclusion:

We didn't opt for dessert, although I must admit a couple of them looked good. I had just lost my desire to really try much else after the entrees were so underwhelming. The appetizers were well-priced and executed as well as I think one could expect. I especially liked the chili con kweh-so. But after that, everything just took the wind out of the sails. I feel pretty confident that, if I was driving by, I'd stop in for that chili again, but everything else was just so bland, I have no desire to go back. Especially when places like El Tapatio are no more than fifteen minutes away.

Tortilla Flats: ++
Price Range For Two: $20-$50
Noise Level: Moderate
Child Friendly: Yes (Until the kitchen closes)
Parking: Streetside

http://www.tortillaflatsri.com/


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355 Hope St
Providence, RI 02906
401-751-6777

Hours
Monday through Thursday 11:30am to 1:00am
Friday & Saturday 11:30am to 2:00am
Sunday 1:00pm to 1:00am
Kitchen open until 10:00pm weekdays, 11:00pm weekends

QUICKVIEW: Restaurant Oak- ++ / $$

I remember the first time I drove down Hope street, when not specifically lost, but still trying to find I95. I spotted Restaurant Oak, or Nero's Oak, or Nero's Restaurant Oak, depending on which sign you choose to read. It was certainly a metropolitan restaurant. Trendy lighting, sidewalk tables, a "happenin'" atmosphere. How the hell did I not know about this place? That was years ago. Oak has persisted, as has my curiosity, which finally got the better of me a few nights ago.

Torn between Chez Pascal and trying someplace new, I decided that [nothing x ventured] / (nothing x gained) = a null set... or something. I worked it out on a napkin and it made sense. The ambiance was very nice. Oak's color scheme is almost entirely a burgundy red combined with brown and a smattering of yellow. The fall color scheme works well, but seemed a bit odd during the summer. Large wooden oak leaf shapes pepper the design and add serious character. The tables were well-dressed, even though they had butcher's paper on top. The lighting was romantic yet not too dark.

The dinner bread was good. It was more like a cheesy garlic bread, or perhaps cold pizza, with a whipped garlic butter on the side. The bruschetta appetizer was odd. Four good-sized pieces of toasted baguette, piled high with... beans. Alright. Not a traditional choice, but I'll give anything a chance. And it was good. Nothing special, but good. It also had a weird effect on me. The pasty, enveloping, super-savory flavor of the beans overpowered the entire experience. It just tasted like beans with bread, with the slightest hint of the pancetta hidden within. Again, it was actually decent, but my palate tired of the flavor very quickly. It tasted like simple comfort food. Very simple comfort food. My partner nailed it when she said it "tasted like chicken pot pie."

A similar situation with the entrees. The trio of crabcakes was a one-shot flavor. It had aioli, which added some kick to it, but it was still just a crabcake. By about halfway through the second cake, my mouth began to grow tired. There was nothing to stand out. No zing of a fruit, or sweetness of balsamic, or crispness of a vegetable. The minor addition of lemon juice squeezed from a very small wedge helped a little, but the side dish of (very good) sweet potato fries did nothing for the cause. The entire plate gelled into a blurry melange of flavor with little character. Crab cakes are generally an appetizer for a reason, there's just not enough there to make an entire entree.

The pork medallions, again, told a similar tale to our tongues. You'd think that pork, with mushrooms, glaze, and pan fried apples would have some zing, but no. Nothing. Again, comfort food. It was good, I can't get on it for that, but it was just so dull. Not bland. I don't think bland is the right word, just dull. There was nothing that became the centerpiece of the flavor. It was a totally acceptable pile of well-cooked food. The pork was tender and better cooked than from many restaurants. The apples were fresh. The plate was presented decently well. It was just so unremarkable it's almost remarkable.

The desserts were a bit of a letdown, but I'm getting used to that. So few places have really great desserts. You'll find the usual suspects of carrot cake, tiramisu, and lemon meringue pie, but that's pretty much it.

It's a problematic decision for me, since everything was good. Nothing was bad. But on the same token, nothing stood out. Nothing impressed me. If I had nowhere else to go, Oak would be a damn fine place to eat. But since I have choices, I have little motivation to go back. If you do decide to eat here, you'll be satisfied, just as I was, but perhaps a bit bored.

http://www.restaurantoak.com/


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959 Hope St
Providence, RI 02903
401-273-7275

Hours
Brunch
Saturday & Sunday 9:00am to 2:00pm
Lunch
Wednesday through Friday 11:30am to 2:00pm
Dinner
Sunday through Thursday 5:00pm to 9:30pm
Friday & Saturday 5:00pm to Whenever

Review List

I am adding a quick review list that has the star ratings of every place I've ever eaten. Some of the restaurants never received a formal write-up. Formal reviews will be included. The list is alphabetical, not by location.

Al Forno: ****

Rhode Island's most famous restaurant almost meets high expectations. Simple food. Perfectly prepared. Fantastic desserts. Some items are over-priced, including the gimmicky house specialty, the Dirty Steak. Atmosphere is airy and austere.

Arunothai: ***

Good standard asian cuisine in Pawtuxet Village. They hit all the right notes. Free delivery, too.

Aspire: ***

Nothing is bad, but the prices are haute, while much of the food is not. You won't be disappointed, but you won't be impressed, either.

Bagelz: **

Very poor coffee and espresso overshadow a thoroughly collegiate atmosphere and decent food offerings.

Basil's: ****1/2

Rhode Island's best service is the highlight of traditional this French/Continental eatery. Quiet, intimate dining room is a joy. Best Duck A L'Orange for a hundred miles.

Beef Barn: ***

What Burger King would be if it was good. Good shakes, fries, onion rings, all at prices just above free.

Bella Napoli Bakery & Deli: ***

A standard deli, but it gets everything right. Ask for some of their pizza, which is excellent traditional Italian.

Blue State Coffee: ***1/2

One of RI's better cafes. Attractive, modern ambiance, decent selection of food and other drinks, and good coffee lead to disappointment in some uneven espresso drinks.

The Breakfast Nook: ***

A good, standard diner.

Brewed Awakenings: ***

A standard cafe with a wide selection of food. Fruit salads are sometimes poor, and the gelato can get icey. Espresso ranges from decent to terrible. Luckily the drip coffee is good.

Brickway on Wickenden: ***

A great place to get a standard breakfast. I'd go more often if it wasn't packed from open to close.

Caffe Bon Ami: ***1/2

A very good cafe that does nothing amazing, but nails everything they set out to do.

Cafe Fresco: ***

Good Italian/continental food and a pleasantly hip atmosphere satisfy.

Cafe Nuovo: ***1/2

Lots of early hype has faded, and Nuovo is still around. Recipes are sometimes ill-conceived, and the wine list is comically expensive, but the food is never bad, and the RISD-like desserts are an utter treat and total deal at only $9.

Cafe Zog: **1/2

It's your basic cafe with sandwiches and decent coffee. The layout of the kitchen is very poor, and because of that, service can be shockingly slow. I'd rather go to Thayer Street.

Cav: ****1/2

Easily RI's most interesting dining area, CAV's food almost measures up. The lunch menu is good, and brunch is a treat. The dinner menu doesn't change too often, but special's are usually worth a try.

Chipotle: ***1/2

The best fast food that I've ever had. On the pricey side, but well worth it.

The Coast Guard House: ***

A magnificent dining area and view are tempered by incredibly uneven preparation and ingredient quality.

Coffee & Cream: **1/2

Acceptable diner with late-night hours. Food prep can be shoddy.

Coffee Exchange: ****

Rhode Island's best cafe. A wide selection of house-roasted coffee, Gregg's desserts, and locally baked cookies and treats combine with consistently excellent espresso. The crowd is very urban-hipster, which is both annoying and enjoyable.

Le Crêperie: ***

A well-prepared variety of crêpes. Very small, and the prices are high, but the selection is unmatched.

Don Jose Tequila's: *

A massive disappointment. Cold food. Bland. Tough meat. Almost everything was wrong.

Duffy's Tavern: ***

A good local haunt for freshly caught seafood.

East Side Pockets: ***

Very well-prepared falafel and wraps. Good prices to boot.

E&J's Breakfast: *1/2

Spartan dining area, Bisquick pancakes, and dirty plates equals epic fail.

Eleven Forty Nine: ***1/2

Urban food and suburban prices, sort of. Everything is well-prepared. Recipes are nothing special. Ingredients are generally good. The house-made desserts taste are uneven, with some being very well-executed, with others tasting like they were out of a freezer.

Emilio's Bakery: ****

The best coronets on Earth, great cheesecake, and an enormous selection of other tooth-rotting bits of paradise. Dry cakes and sometimes over-baked cookies ruin the party.

Fadó Irish Pub: ***

Decent place for a quick bite. Great grilled cheese, fries, and a wide selection of beers are all good. Boxties are unique, but a bit pricey.

Felicia's Coffee: **

Abysmal espresso and coffee ruin a good selection of foods and coffee beans.

Five Guys Burger and Fries: ***1/2

The best fast food burger that you can buy. Very loud, intense dining area.

Frank & John's from Italy: ****

The best traditional Italian pizza in Rhode Island. A gem.

Fred & Steve's: ****

Large cuts of meat and massive side dishes match the plush interior very well. Service is good. Better than Ruth's Chris and Capital Grille, but falls to the superior Providence Prime.

The Garden Grille: **1/2

Conceived as well as I suppose they could be. The recipes never fully transcend the self-imposed limitations of vegetarian/vegan food. Flavors can be two-dimensional and bland. Still, it's certainly adequate, and if you're a vegetarian, this is likely the best you'll ever get.

Gillian's Ale House: **1/2

Good local haunt with good bar food. The house-made corned beef is excellent.

The Governor Francis Inn: ***

Good local restaurant. Fair prices, well-prepared standard food, and a nice atmosphere make it a good stop if you're driving through or live in the area. The clientele is elderly and the food is a bit bland to match. Still, it's satisfying.

Gracie's: ****

Fantastic place. Romantic dining area. The dynamic menu is loaded with excellent-quality ingredients and serving sizes are generally perfect. Some prices are a bit silly, like $13 for maybe twenty house-made gnocchi. One of Rhode Island's best.

Gregg's: ***1/2

One of RI's best standard restaurants. A massive menu of sandwiches, roasts, salads, bar food, and desserts guarantees you'll find something to eat.

Grille on Main: ***

One of Pinelli Marra's restaurants, Grille on Main has some great food, a hopping bar, and nice dining area.

India: ****

Rhode Island's best Indian food. It's non-traditional, but I like that. Very well-prepared, with great ingredients.

International Zone at URI: ***

Standard sandwich shop. Good falafel. The ice cream can be a bit icey.

The Italian Village: ***

The very definition of local Italian place. Everything meets expectations. Serving sizes can be comically large.

J's Deli: ***1/2

A perfect deli. The selection is large. Ingredients are good. Prices are low. What else do you need?

Java Madness: **1/2

The view is great, the coffee and espresso are not. The sandwich selection is good, and college students get a discount, but the crap smoothies and espresso make this hard to recommend.

Jitters Cafe: ***

Jitters rules the take-out crowd in North Kingstown. Excellent bagel and muffin selection disappears early. Baked goods are acceptable. Espresso is usually decent, as is the drip coffee.

Jim's Deli: ****

Huge, cheap sandwiches are only part of the charm. Misspelled signs, an utterly gigantic selection of seemingly everything, and friendly service make this place the best deli for miles.

Junction Trattoria: ***

First a pizzeria, now a trattoria, it's all good. The sandwiches and pizza satisfy, but the pre-packaged desserts are disappointing.

Lemongrass: **1/2

Touts their many awards. I don't know for what. Sweet & sour stuff is heavy on the batter, rice is bland, meats are tough. Overall, it's more than adequate, but not something to seek out.

Local 121: ***

Beautiful interior slams into good but over-priced food.

Lucce: ***1/2

The dining area is hilariously small, but the food is good and the prices are fair.

Main Street Coffee: ***1/2

I got perfectly formed latte art.

Mediterraneo: **

A huge disappointment. Everything but the pork loin was inadequate. After dinner, house-made limoncello was great, though.

Mozzarella's: ***

Standard neighborhood restaurant sort of deal. Good menu, good prices, good atmosphere. I prefer Gregg's.

Oak (Nero's Restaurant Oak): **1/2

Dishes lack any spice. Nice atmosphere, good service, quality ingredients, but the food is just bland and unbalanced.

The Oak Hill Tavern: ***1/2

The low prices and excellently prepared ribs mean this place is a must-try for BBQ lovers.

Ozzi's Steakburgers: ***

Really tasty burger joint. Wide selection of toppings, good meat, shakes and floats, it's A&W if A&W was better. Service isn't very good or fast, though. Fries are usually really soft. Parking and leaving is a nightmare. If you live in the area, this should be your burger destination.

Pagoda Inn: ***1/2

The best Chinese food in town until Seven Moons showed up. Beef teriyaki is sometimes tough, and sweet & sour chicken/pork is sometimes fried to a hard block of inedible cement. Crab rangoons are my favorite in all of RI.

Pal's Restaurant: ***1/2

Very low prices, great food, the epitome of an excellent local haunt. A wide menu and friendly service are bonuses. Desserts are decent, and the alfredo sauce is a bit watery.

Pane e Vino: ****

My favorite Italian food in RI. They have an amazing Italian wine list.

Pastiche: ****

Beyond-good desserts. Save room at dinner for this place. The coffee is good, as are other drinks, but the espresso is questionable. Sometimes it's decent, others it's downright bad.

Paulie Penta's: ***

A good deli.

Pot au Feu: ***1/2

Good bistro, with too-dim lighting. Upstairs "salon" has excellent service and ambiance. Very good, French food with competitive prices.

The Pump House: ***

A disappointment considering its Red Rooster lineage. It's very bland, but well-made standard continental/American fare.

Rasoi: ***

The food is more traditional than India, but prep and ingredient quality left me wanting. Gristle and tough bits in the chicken surprised me. The naan is fantastic, though.

Rue De L'Espoir: ***1/2

Good brunch, good dinner, good French food.

Sea View Station: **1/2

Standard breakfast joint. Ingredient quality is dodgy at times, but nothing bad.

Scramblers: ***

A good, standard diner.

Seven Moons: ***

A very wide selection of Asian food and good sushi make this likely the best one-stop-Asian-shop in RI.

Seven Stars Bakery: ****

Fantastic bread, baked goods, and espresso make this place a must-visit for Providence residents.

T's: ***1/2

The best breakfast joint around. Good prices, large, clean dining area, and a dynamic specials menu are all excellent.

Taste of India: ***

An, um, Indian restaurant. Everything is quality. Some of the curries are too oily. The meat is of good quality. Service is very good. Their recipes are different, which is good.

Tavern by the Sea: ***

A satisfying place with fresh ingredients, good service, and a wide open al fresco dining area with views of Wickford.

Three Sisters: ***

Good sandwiches, ice cream, and espresso make Three Sisters a good default place to eat.

Trattoria Simpatico: ***

High prices don't jive with some horribly executed meat dishes and uninventive and/or poorly executed desserts. Pasta is fantastic, though, as is the excellent al freso dining area.

Tricia's Tropigrille: ***1/2

Our own little slice of the Caribbean. Good prices, dining area, and selection are nice. Dessert list is a piece of paper in a bottle (cute). Very simple desserts, very cheap, and very good.

Twist: **1/2

Specials are a mixed bag. Drink selection is good. Food is the same as Pinelli Marra's other restaurants for more money.

The Village Hearth Bakery: ****

Possibly southern Rhode Island's best cafe. Bakery is amazing. Dining area is great. Must try.