REVIEW: Mainstreet Coffee- ***1/2 / $

Not too long ago, East Greenwich's main drag was littered with empty store fronts, a few bars, and that was about it. Now it's littered with over-priced shops, cafes, restaurants, and thirty-something yuppies out to get laid as they cruise the street in their financed BMW's, Aston Martins, and Bentleys.

Depending on your perspective, that could be a downgrade. Regardless, route 1 through EG is now one of the nicer walks to be had in Rhode Island. Not as cramped and busy as Warren, not as subtly disgusting as Westerly, and not as smelly and pretentious as Thayer Street.

But what is one to do if one doesn't want to get busy drinking at 2:30 in the afternoon, while being hit on by old, weird men who never seem to leave? Thankfully, for you, there are a few cafes. For those who prefer a finely tuned mini-bohemia, Starbucks is available, which is acceptable as always, but why would you go and do something weird like that when one of RI's best cafes is right down the street in the form of Main Street Coffee.

On your way in, MainCoff is eminently welcoming. With a string of attractive tables, sidewalk art, and comfortable chairs all before you ever get in the door, you can tell this place was founded, and is run, with a degree of passion. The inside is 100% cafe. Wood, floral art, and lots of browns, reds, and blacks do not break any ground in the cafe aesthetic. This isn't a criticism, but more an observation because the interior is very nice. It's a bit cramped, but they make good use of what they have. The large windows running along the front of the building allow copious amounts of sunlight to wash over the room, and when opened during the summer it opens up the entire cafe. It all conspires to create an atmosphere that feels wide open even while being rather small.

An array of tables and chairs are wedged into the street-view area, near the door. The sitting area in the back, with some cushy couches, chairs, and (non-cushy)skylights, that provide the comfiest seats in the house. Still, especially during mid-summer, it's the street chairs I prefer. If you go through the small arches, you'll pass through to the second part of the cafe, which is a bar called the Toscana Lounge, replete with those aforementioned weird, old men. This area also sports lots of dark tones and projects a similarly upscale tone as the cafe area. Don't bother talking to the bartender. She's too busy deflecting come-ons from the weird, old men.

Their food selection is very good. I like their cakes, cookies, pastries, and muffins. Their selection of cakes borders on suicidal. I found too many of their varieties overly sweet. Good, old, chocolate cake is still good. I liked their muffins, very flavorful, moist, and crumbly. Some of their creamy desserts, like mousse, underwhelmed. They had that spongy texture and firmness that comes from pre-packaged mousses. A lemon pastry also tasted like a cleaning agent. These complaints aren't deal-breaking in the grand scheme of their menu, which is solid and supports their drinks well.

Oh, the drinks, but before we get to the coffee, I'll discuss the smoothies. As with a number of places that shall remain nameless... oh hell, I'll name them, as with places like Coffee Exchange, the smoothies, here, are made with juice, syrups, and ice. They do a decent job blending the ice till it's smooth, but that's not really a smoothie. That's a slushie. A smoothie usually has no ice in it. Just look at the Wikipedia entry for smoothie, FRESH FRUIT. I won't knock off any points for this because so many other places are guilty, but if you fancy yourself a smoothie gourmet, take a trip up the road a bit into Warwick and get a real, good, healthy smoothie from Fresh City.

With only a small amount of support food, MainCof doesn't deviate from the cafe model as does places like Brewed Awakenings or Three Sisters. The purpose of your trip is a drink. This puts a lot of focus on the drink because, if it sucks, there is nothing drawing you back. So often am I let down by the quality of the coffee, but here, thankfully, I am not. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I received the best latte I've ever gotten outside of Providence's cafes, here. The espresso was well-pulled, the milk was perfectly texturized and free-poured like a real barista should.

Then, sometime after that, I received an even better latte. So good, in fact, that it's one of the best I've ever gotten. It was made by the owner and was a milky masterpiece. First off, it's not the best latte I've ever had. That honor still goes to CofEx. The espresso wasn't the best roast, in my opinion. I prefer darker, more powerful roasts because they stand out better in a milky drink like a latte. It was a bit astringent on the tongue and was short on body. Flavor was good, some subtle nutty notes, but was otherwise not well-suited to a latte. I wonder if it was an African blend. For lattes, good, ol' fashioned Colombian is my favorite.

Still, like dust and memories, these criticisms are washed away when the espresso is capped with that clarion badge of a master barista, latte art. Not only is this the only latte art I've ever received in Rhode Island, it's some of the most defined, attractive art I've ever received. It may seem like a weird obsession, as the pour has nothing to do with how the drink tastes, but for me the time and care taken to make latte art is what tells me that I'm dealing with a real master of their craft. It says, in no uncertain terms, that the barista gives a crap. Before this, I would have said that CofEx and Blue State Coffee were RI's best, but CofEx and Main Street Coffee are now in a league all their own.

So why not four stars? On a more general level, I always receive quality drinks. The very worst I have ever received is as good as any Starbucks. Cappuccinos are topped with dense, silky foam. And mochas sport attractive swirls of chocolate syrup on top. Unfortunately, CofEx has every one of their baristi perfectly trained, and MainCof doesn't. Being only as good as Starbucks doesn't compete with a place where the espresso is always better. Granted, this criticism also applies to Pastiche, Blue State, and Caffe Bon Ami, so Main Street Coffee is in some good company.

Sooooo, yes. Excellent atmosphere and decor, combined with a solid menu and very good coffee and espresso, allows Mainstreet Coffee to overcome its few mistakes. And while I was impressed with my earlier latte, the caffeinated masterpiece that followed really pushed them over the top. It's East Greenwich's best cafe, and one of the best cafes in the state. In this writer's humble opinion, if you are in the area and don't stop by for a drink, you're just plain dumb.

Mainstreet Coffee: ***1/2

http://www.mscoffee.net (The web address is on their business cards, but the link is dead. I'm not sure what's going on, there.


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137 Main Street
East Greenwich, RI. 02818
401-885-8787

Hours
Monday through Thursday 6:00am to 10:00pm
Friday & Saturday 6:00am to 12:00am
Sunday 7:30am to 10:00pm

REVIEW: Trattoria Simpatico- *** / $$$

Oh little Jamestown. So small yet so packed with cool stuff. You'd be surprised with the density of gourmet offerings on Rhode Island's second biggest free-floating land mass. It has, now with Wickford Gourmet's closing, the only gourmet shop I know of for miles in Grapes & Gourmet, the delicious Tricia's Tropigrille, Chopmist Charlie's, and enough seafood to choke a horse. All this food and a killer view of the Newport bridge as you walk the pier make for a unique experience. But, while seafood bars and clam cakes are nice, what if you decide you want a fancier, dare I say it, nicer dining experience to compliment your summer evening in the Ferrari with Ms. Bambi?

And with that q-linary quandary, we come to Trattoria Simpatico. Around since the early 90's, TS has managed to build up a decent reputation among locals as the go-to spot for fine dining if one doesn't want to brave the no-locals-land of Newport. It's definitely the fanciest restaurant on Jamestown, and also the priciest. Is it worth it?

I lived on Jamestown for over a year and only managed to go just as I was leaving for new quarters, elsewhere. I had sort of built the place up in my mind, if for no other reason than the name sounds impressive. I came away rather disappointed. That was over two years ago and I figured to give the place a second shot.

Simpatico recently won a Rhode Island Monthly award for best al fresco dining, and boy howdy are they right. Last I ate, I ate inside, being winter. I can't remember when, specifically, but I kept leaving to check the Patriots' playoffs games in the bar. The outside area is wonderfully realized. Touches such as the water fountain come across as genuine and in their element as opposed to kitschy. The generous placing of flowers, plants, and well-trimmed foliage integrate very well with the structure and give the area an aged, European feel. And boy does TS know they've got the goods when it comes to dining area. The al fresco area not only makes up the bulk of their seating capacity, they even provide a jazzy-yet-boring band to do smarmy, elevator music versions of hit songs.

The canopies provide protection from the elements and allow eating outside even in inclement weather. In fact, I can think of nothing more romantic than dining in a light rain storm and assume it would be quite the experience. The canopies themselves are very nice. Attractive wood frames around each corner give a sense of permanence to the otherwise temporary structures that make them feel as though they're part of the building as opposed to the tents they actually are. As the sun goes down, the white Christmas lights draped throughout the area get better, but they never seem fully integrated into the overall design. Still, they're pretty.

The tables are well-dressed and attractive, with bright white table clothes and attractive tableware. Fresh flowers add flare and color to each table. And while many of the tables have nice, wrought metal chairs, the tables under the outlying tents are made of a cheap, Wal-Mart grade plastic. It's not much of a complaint, but it distracts from the otherwise well-composed aesthetic. And if you want the absolute ultimate in intimate dining, there is an utterly adorable wrought iron gazebo just big enough to fit a small table and two chairs. It's completely covered in ivy and flowers and seems to have been ripped straight from a French movie about drinking wine and speaking breathlessly about nothing.

But the food! Right, the food. Well a meal can't be started without starters, and here TS impressed. The crab cakes were very good. Firm and flavorful with large, heaping chunks of crab meat wedged into them. The potato salad nestled between the pair of cakes went well with the seafood. The light, crisp vegetables added some good contrast in texture and the sauce was flavorful and present in copious amounts. All around, a very good pair of crab cakes and a good value at $14. The bruschetta wasn't amazing, but it did nothing wrong and makes my list of bruschettas worth getting. A nice combination of crisp, fresh veggies, sauce, and good bread made me a fan. The bread was presented in the nicest fashion I've ever encountered. Two entire loaves were brought out warm, enrobed in a white cloth in what looked like a small picnic basket with a large bottle of olive oil. Again, this trendy olive oil nonsense is beginning to drive me mad. Give me butter! Nice touch, though.

The entrees were hit and miss now as they were then. The orrichiette was very good. Cooked al dente to just the right amount of firmness, the sauce, sun-dried tomatoes, chicken, and spicy sausage combined into an excellent whole. A strong, smokey flavor filled my tongue with every bite. If you go, I highly recommend you get this dish. The tortelloni was also very good. The filling was cheesy with just the right amount of nuttiness, and was cooked to perfect al dente degree. The cheese and greens piled on top went very well, but it wasn't enough to draw my eye away from my companion's orrichiette.

The pork is a serious problem. The last time I went to Simpatico I got the grilled pork loin. It wasn't very good. I'm not one to complain so I went home assuming that the chef was tired, or high, or in the middle of a mild seizure. Nope, they just can't cook pork. Both times, it was dry and bland. Is it really so hard to brine the pork? The potato and onion roesti was tasty, but it was very loose and difficult to get both it and some pork on the fork. If you wanted onion and pork to combine on your palate, you needed some of both, and that was an exercise in multiple utensils. The spicy corn salad and mango coulis were both served cold, which created a jarring temperature contrast with the hot pork, which also resulted in the meat losing its temperature very quickly. The small amount of mango coulis was a disappointment, since it was the only aspect that added any fire to the dish. They should have heated it and dumped a generous pile right on top. Steer clear of their pork.

The tenderloin was guilty of a similar infraction. It was ordered medium rare and delivered medium. Now tenderloin isn't the most flavorful cut of meat to begin with, but this meat reached new heights of bland, I don't know how. It was tender enough, but dry. It was saved by an adequate Bearnaise sauce, more of which was needed, and some tasty mashed potatoes. Still, for $37 I expect something better than a tenderloin I could cook poorly at home for a third the price. I'm seeing a pattern, steer clear of the meats in general.

The desserts weren't as scattershot in quality as the entrees. The creme brulee had good texture with a wonderfully delicate lime flavor that went surprising well. The fruit tasted fresh enough, but the melted sugar on top was very thick. I actually enjoyed it, but a companion of mine disliked it enough to dig the creme out from under the brulee. It would come down to a matter of personal taste, because the dessert as a whole was well-made. The touch of lime is something I've not seen elsewhere, and as such I would return specifically for it. The same cannot be said for the Mocha Toffee Chocolate Crunch Bars.

They are well-intentioned, but it is just four bars of utterly overpowering chocolate and espresso flavor, sweetened to the point of being cloying. There was toffee used as a "crust," which added no contrast in texture or flavor. What it really needed was something crispy to better interact with the softness of the mousse, be it meringue, cookies, or crackers, and a buttload more of the raspberry coulis. The Neopolitan was a big hit with everyone. Simple, tasty, reaaally unhealthy. A dense, fudgey brownie, piled high with house-made whipped cream, strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries, bathed in creme anglaise and raspberry coulis. I've had better creme anglaise, Al Forno comes to mind, but it's basically a brownie sundae, so who cares? It was good.

So, in the end, I was certainly disappointed with Tratoria Simpatico. It was good, but it was expensive with preparations that didn't match the price. Since it's the atmosphere that you really want, they, thankfuly, have a more affordable and reasonable way to experience it. Along with the dinner menu is a well-balanced and generally affordable wine list, so just meeting for desserts and wine sounds like a wonderful option for a night out. They also have a large, impressive, and better-priced lunch menu. The smaller "cafe menu" has some of the lunch menu's offerings and is available all day. Combined with an equally large and impressive list of thirty specialty drinks and a raw bar, Simpatico offers many ways to experience their excellent al fresco dining without paying too much for some middling entrees.

Trattoria Simpatico: ***
Price range for two: $50-80

http://www.trattoriasimpatico.com/


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14 Narragansett Ave
Jamestown, RI 02835
401-423-1490

Omaha Steaks Sucks

Well, Omaha Steaks has opened a retail location in Cranston's newest temple of ridiculous, suburban consumption. I had heard of them, and I had a coupon from the newspaper for a rather stupid amount of meat for only $50, so I figured to give them a shot.

Frankly, it wasn't even worth the small amount of money I paid. I bought a bag of amazingly expensive beef jerky which was the toughest jerky I've ever had and peppered to such an extreme it cleared my neighbor's sinuses. The filets were comically small with weak flavor and had a strange, rubbery texture to them. I've never encountered meat that felt this way, before.

The hot dogs were decent, but Hebrew National or Boar's Head are both better. The texture was off, being softer and more mushy than I like. The chicken was chicken, it's really hard to fuck that up. The stuffed baked potatoes were dry as all get-out which overwhelmed any decent flavor they had.

The salmon was overpriced and had a watery flavor. The texture was rather poor and gummy, and it didn't compare at all to fresh salmon from a deli or seafood shop. Maybe this is acceptable if you live in the middle of Nebraska, but we don't. We live right by the freaking ocean.

The hamburgers were adequate. Probably because even crap meat can be turned into decent hamburger. I'd rather buy good, ground beef and make my own patties. Saves me money, and I can spice my own meat.

The best thing to come out of the purchase was a weird, car-care kit that had a flashlight, screwdriver, pliers, (very) small jumper cables, and other bizzare shit. What? I can only assume it's meant as some marketing ploy for me, because unless you like grilling on an engine block (you fucking redneck) the only connection I can see between meat and cars is men. Weird, just weird.

Woo ha!

I just got the best latte outside of Providence that I had yet to have in Rhode Island. I got it in the little ol' Main Street Cafe in East Greenwich. This was a REAL latte. The espresso was strong and rich, like I think latte espresso should be, it was perfectly pulled and the milk was poured with skill. I didn't get the barista's name, but she's about 5'5" and blonde, if she's at the counter, make sure to order a latte. She's got madd skillz yoh.