There are many bad commercials out there. All ads for drugs are atrocious. Car commercials are usually annoying. Anything intended to "help around the house" are damn-near always horrifically sexist and borderline false advertising. But in the world of food, there is one commercial that stands out as stunningly bad. A commercial so God-awful, it made me want to MURDER people when I first saw it.
That this... this, thing was a conscious creation of a large group of people makes me wonder if they were all, in fact, evil Satan worshipers. After they took every annoying, precocious kid from advertising history and extracted their DNA, they injected it into the womb of Mephistopheles, who, nine months later, birthed a clot of black bile, sludge, and cynical hatred made manifest from which this child rose, looking like Carrie at the end of the prom scene. It takes the most annoying aspects of every "It's Shake n' Bake, and I helped!" commercial since the product's creation and distills it down into 30 seconds of sheer advertising horror.
They then played this commercial during EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK ON EVERY CHANNEL ON THE PLANET FOR OVER A YEAR.
Behold, the Welch's Makes Your Lips Smack television commercial, circa 1999.
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